Kids Are Dangerous And Moms Shouldn’t Vacuum

Warning to all parents, or future parents.

Kids are dangerous.

I don’t mean dangerous as in kids seek out dangerous opportunities (they do, but that’s not the point), I mean kids are the danger to mothers all over the world.  Oh sure, they can pose a threat to themselves, but truth be told, they pose an enormous threat to their parents.

I always knew kids get hurt, it’s part of life, right?  But before having children of my own, I had no idea the danger they are to parents.  If you’re a parent, and this is a new-found discovery…consider yourself warned.

It wasn’t until my third child was mobile until I realized my life, or livelihood, would be in such jeopardy.  {It would be the third, wouldn’t it?}  Such a joy to us; yet watching him grow, and become mobile, I discovered this child would eventually put me in the hospital.  I figured that event would be due to a heart attack {seriously, this kid is cra-zy!}, but I never expected this…

Why moms should never vacuum! You're gonna love this! - Anchored In His Grace #parenting

Once upon a merry ol’ time, I actually had a few minutes for vacuuming.  Let’s take a moment of silence to imagine that notion….

It’s a novel idea, vacuuming with children around, but I did it anyway.  Well, I started to.  And to my surprise, I didn’t hear my son standing directly behind me.  You know how children are.  They like to hunker down, directly behind your legs where you can’t see them, or hear them.

It must be a surprise attack method.  It worked.

The moment I stepped back, and discovered my son there, I did what every mother out there does.

Sacrifices herself for the safety of her children.

Doing the “don’t hurt the child” dance, I tripped and stumbled my way to the ground.  My goal was simple: don’t fall on child!  Well, I did great!  He came out standing, and perfectly fine.

Whoop!  Whoop!  Mama win!

I on the other hand….had a broken foot.

Hmmm…whooping in a different way.  Not so much of a win.

Not just any broken foot, mind you.  The kind of broken foot that takes ten weeks to heal completely.  The kind of broken foot that requires quite a bit of blood flow, yet the furthest away from any blood flow whatsoever.  The kind broken foot that really hurts!  {Three un-medicated childbirths; I don’t toss out “that hurts” lightly.}

The kind that prompts the doctor to say, “This might need surgery.”

Excuse me?  Surgery?  My house is the madhouse.  I can’t. have. surgery.

So there I was, in a walking boot, using crutches, trying to homeschool, and continue to care for my family.

{Rabbit trail warning.}  I’ll stop in the middle of this fascinating story to say my family would not have survived if it weren’t for the help of my church family.  Friends, the body of Christ truly came together, and we needed it!  Standing upright for more than 30 minutes at a time would send terrible throbbing pains to the injury, making typical household responsibilities a bit of a challenge.

They cooked for us, cleaned for us, and made many, many trips to the grocery store for us.  I’m convinced someone would have starved, or drowned in a heap of dirt, if it weren’t for our church family.

Back to the riveting tale….

Did I happen to mention it was at this point we found out my husband’s vasectomy failed?  Or should I say, it was at this point that God gave us the surprise of our lives.

Oh yes, on the couch, throbbing pain, four children trying to survive, and morning sickness.  That was fun…

Side note…things that are difficult to do while using crutches (or hopping on one foot):

  • Cook–stirring with one hand while stabilizing myself with the other was more like chasing the pot around the stove top trying not to spill.  Interesting to say the least.
  • Clean–isn’t that how I got myself into this mess anyway?
  • Transfer one year old to and from crib (⇐that was a tricky one)
  • Grocery shop–I tried the driving buggy, but there wasn’t room in the tiny basket for all the food our family of 6 consumed at the time.
  • Parent–parenting from the couch isn’t easy, and wobbling from room to room figuring out who is where is challenging also.  I may have banged the crutches on the floor in order to get my children’s attention a time or two.  Maybe.
  • Transfer oneself to and from the bathroom (did I mention morning sickness?)

Thankfully, my morning sickness wasn’t bad.

In the end, the boot came off, and my foot healed on its own.  Yay!  No surgery needed!

However, I go back to my original warning:

Kids are dangerous.

Keep a sharp eye out; not just for their safety, but for your safety!

And the final moral of the story is…

Moms shouldn’t vacuum.

Am I the only one?  Have you taken a tumble attempting to keep a child safe?  Tell us about it!  Tell me I’m not alone!

This was shared with: What Joy Is Mine, A Mama’s Story, Time Warp Wife, Cornerstone Confessions, Family Fun Friday, Faith Filled Friday,

Experiencing God's grace everyday - Anchored In His Grace

 

9 thoughts on “Kids Are Dangerous And Moms Shouldn’t Vacuum

    1. Haha! Thank you! Yes, crazy, chaotic, and all sorts of things; grateful for the provisions of the Lord through the people who love him. 🙂

  1. Oh my goodness! I am sorry your foot broke but the way you write is absolutely hilarious! And it’s true. I am surprised we haven’t gotten hurt from some of the things our children have done (or that they haven’t hurt themselves in the process!). If I ever get to tell some of the stories of our oldest, I think he would be slightly embarrassed, but one included having to call the fire department so that was crazy! Anyways, thanks for the laugh and the “aw!” and congratulations and the new little one! Prayers sent your way as you travel on your journey! 😀
    Elizabeth recently posted…Nature Walk (From Day 3 of the 70 Day Challenge)My Profile

    1. So glad it tickled your funny bone! This is one of those stories that just makes me chuckle when I look back on it. And thank you! This event took place a few years back, but our little bundle of joy is such a blessing, and I’m so glad the Lord saw fit to grace our lives with her. 🙂

  2. So sorry for your misadventure, but you told this story in such a funny way, that I had to laugh. Maybe because with my 4 homeschooled children, I have been there, done that and totally agree that moms should never vacuum! thanks for lifting my spirits this morning! : )
    Karen recently posted…Back to Your Own FutureMy Profile

    1. Oh yes, misadventures! Maybe this is one of the ways children bless us…with misadventures we’re given so much to laugh about. So glad you left laughing & with a smile! 🙂

  3. WHAT…A….STORY! Bless your little mama heart! I cannot imagine! I have definitely been injured by my children, the little buggers. But never to this extent. And to find out you were “surprise” pregnant on top if it. Good news is, I bet you will never again vacuum (that is if you ever attempt it again) without a quirky smile coming to your face and maybe….the memory…will be better than the actual event itself. Reminding you that life is full of surprises and there is never a dull moment when there are children running around your feet.
    Sarah Koontz recently posted…How to Ditch Anxiety & Embrace the AdventureMy Profile

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